=> BE THE CHANGE OF WHAT YOUR WISHED <=

THE KICK THAT WAKE ME UP

2010-10-24T19:21:00.002+08:00

I was away from my blog for SO long and I wasn't going to stay long for this time too. Why? Just want to let myself recall 'this part' of my memory in the later time, I'm suffering for my undergraduate study.

Though I should not have this kind of pessimistic thought, just like what I advice people not to, but just that it sometimes pop out from my thought. Each and every week I'm feeling that my 7 days had shrink to 3 or 4 days short. In my first year first semester study, for the first time I have 6 subjects in a row with 3 out of this 6 subjects are killing. One of it is Academic Writing. If you are in this subject you will understand why you will lose the confidence to write in English again every time you get homework assignment or portfolio work with some lousy marks even that you think that you tried your best. While the rest no going smooth too. Some of my friends which know that my course is that busy and they question how we going to survive for the rest semester when we are already in that harsh situation even for the first semester in degree. I wonder too.

So far, I haven't touch on what I want to say yet. Everything is keeping me busy and towards the end of the semester, I am getting more restless and having less free time to do what I wished to do all day long. Every time I set my alarm nowadays before I sleep which would show me the countdown that how many hours left before the alarm would trigger often is just about 5 or 6 hours. I'm really getting sick of it. I started to lose my faith, started to struggle, trying to buy more time for study rather than chant for daimoku. I'm losing the feeling to do the other things other than revision, I'm growing to be a book worm! I know it shouldn't be in that way.

A kick that wake me. A kick that start my engine again. For others who don't know the importance of ko-sen-rufu, they might think why should I bother something that's not related to you or not benefiting your academic study, but to me, it is where I grow, where I gain and where I belong to. The culture group PICs meeting yesterday, whatever Corny Jie advice and encourage us, making me to gain the heat again to move on further. It's indeed a good start again.

I'll fight for everything in my full strength, I'll strive my very best for even a small matter with full force. I'll be better if I'm able to overcome this. I will...

Signing off...

Concern

2010-08-14T12:42:00.004+08:00

I have not update my blog for quite a time. Although I promise myself to update it more frequent before this. Busy on study is drowning me as my sweet long holidays end. Though is not really sweet at the moment but I really kind of desiring for a true break while my home works are getting pile up just beside me. Well, what am I suppose to recount back of what had happened throughout the days which I did not mentioned over here, quite a lot happened everyday though, but the most recent one I would like to write in here.

It is just about yesterday, well, a friend of mine, a girl actually which is elder than me two years in age, (I mention this so that people don’t think of something else of our relationship instead of just a friend) where she got upset by her boyfriend if I’m not mistaken and cried. (Whatever made her depressed is not the matter over here, just letting the fact known that she’s deep in wound.) Although I was neither on the scene of what had happened, nor knowing what’s actually happened, I just felt like wanted to cheer her up instead of drilling to her wound asking what indeed got on her. Well, the thing is that I’m not really with her at the moment and I just get to chat with her through Facebook and got update and assure of what’s going by her friend through SMS. After all it was indeed a good medium for me to comfort her through word chatting rather than face to face talking as the fact that I’m not good in conveying what I truly meant in heart and mind than my words in written form and secondly is that perhaps you would not have the mood at all to speak up your mind while you are crying I reckon if you are.

For you information, I wasn’t good at comforting people at all, not even to concern about people because I’m truly lousy on socializing. Though the idea of persuading her, helping her to walk out of her sorrow on the most painful moment is sounded very odd to me but I just wanted to give a try as because I really wish to see her unhappy feelings no more. By chat, at first I just naively ask her not to feel sad, drop the word. I also advised her to talk to someone about it but she say she couldn’t find one and have no mood for it. There I realized that I should be the one to do something where at least she’s still willing to chat with me. Then I try to make up my mind, to do something instead of just some general comfort, some true ideas. Well, silly me even go and search through the web to find some cheer up phrases where later I find that it is too formal towards a friends. An idea flashed through my mind at the moment when I dropped the earlier, why don’t I just try some jokes to direct her attention instead? Then I start up with some jokes. Although I’m bad on jokes but I remember one which is latest by my friend. “A teacher asked her student what’s the meaning of ‘tenants’, the student answer her ‘Ten Ants’.” At least she answered a ‘haha’ in return which is a good sign. After some others jokes, finally I can sense some relieved of pain through her chat.

Well, writing all this is not about telling you the first experience of me to successfully comfort a girl or how good I am in jokes result in cheering up someone whose upsetting or whatsoever. The thing is that it concluded to me that everyone needs concern and encouragement of others at all time regardless it is from just a normal friend, families or relatives, teachers or whatsoever. We are human being, which is a kind of species preferring to stay in group rather than individually as proven through the history. We need each other to stay alive as well as survive this cruel and realistic world especially now. We should show at least a little bit of concern to anyone no matter it is something happy or the other way happen or happening to them, sharing their loads regardless of it is a load of happiness or a load of sorority. We must support each other, lending our hands, both of it, to anyone which hoping it just as we do when we are in depressed. Togetherness is the nature of us. Note this once and for the rest of your life.

Finally, I just hope that she would be fine.

Dozing off...
Dandy

MY ENRICHED HOLIDAY

2010-07-16T21:41:00.012+08:00

Well well well, I am still on my holiday as for your information up to today. What I have done with my holiday which has started long since the mid of May? Truthfully, during day time I was damn free and boring. What I have done on most of my morning? I sleep normally until 9am. Breakfast time would take me at least an hour or so. 10.30am to 12.00pm would usually be my leisure time for newspapers and prayers. Nothing much during the morning where I'm getting lazy to go out for exercise like jogging or basketball.

So then is my noon time. Well, my noon time the same boring. Sometimes I would to be driver, send my brother to school with the accompany of my mum and then she would to direct me to some business like settle the payment of electric bill, water bill, credit cards' bills, etc. So is quite free actually. Just trying to do something to kill my time as I do not really willing to do all this actually.

But actually, that is not just how i spend my holiday. Some people might wonder why I didn't go and find for a part time job or something. At least I can earn some pocket money. But I actually very busy in most of my night time. I'm dedicating fully to SGM activities. Sometimes we have got discussion meeting, go for home visit, training for some upcoming exhibition as Exhibition Guide, etc.

I learned a lot during the holiday. Hopefully if I compare myself to others, at least I got experience on how to narrate as an exhibition guide in an exhibition (I have done 2 exhibitions recently -Seed of Hope as the title at Yuk Choy High School and Poi Lam High School), manage to lead my gymnastics members to succeed a performance on 11st of July. There is also an exhibition tomorrow 17/7 at SGM male dorm and I'm working as an exhibition guide again.

Through the holiday, I never earn a single sen, but I learn some priceless things.

By the way, that is just the weekdays life of mine. Of course, my weekend schedule is fused with more activities which has got the same nature of what I have told above.

And one thing is that I have got the scholarship of Gamuda for 2010. One of the lucky one out of 30 over people. At least i'm a scholar now and I do not need to worry anymore about my fees. They even take care of my living expenses as well! Truly I appreciate what I have got so far.

I will update myself more frequent than before this.
Dandy

Quote :How well do you put what you said into action?

CAKES AND FRIENDS

2010-05-23T16:23:00.002+08:00

Before i start, wanted to update a bit about myself. Recently I was too free. So nothing to do and I will update my blog often. Currently having holiday, but just one week only i felt like want to go back to study... So as i'm too free. I had make up a story to give those who read my blog a learn a moral value - sharing. The meaning of it could be presented in a line or two of words but as i said, i'm too free so i make it a story. Here it goes.

Cakes and Friends – The more we give, the more we get

There is a rich man in a town which has got a child, the man always taught his son with philosophy, a great philosopher. When the boy grew up to a teenage, he start to travel out from his home town as been encourage by his farther to explore the world.

One day, he reached a place, where most of the poor being lives. The day is about dawn, he was tired of walking the long day. He is looking for a place to get himself a peace of mind to rest. There he found a nice and shady place thought it is not too hot the moment. He takes a sit and then stretches his hand into his travelling bag, looking for something to fill his hunger and there he found some cakes in a container. He then opens up the container happily. Right when he wanted to put a cake into his mouth after he open the container, he gazes a group of teenagers who are squatting at a corner not far from where he sit. From the way they look, they are in hunger and do not seems to have meal for days.

He remember what is been taught by his farther where how important sharing is. Without any hesitation, he walks up to the group of teenagers and he asks them whether they want to have his cakes although he knows he might lose his dinner for the day. There they share the cakes in the container, though is not much, but they are eating with joy and tears. Though he cannot feed himself well that night, but he earned something else - friendship.

There are many things that are more valuable than the possession that we having. The boy taught us about how important the mean of sharing is. Sharing is caring, and the more we share the more we get in return, though in the story, the boy he gave away his food, but he earn some valuable friends.

SOMETHING

2010-04-07T16:53:00.003+08:00

I was kind of busy recently. Is actually very busy I'm not available to update my blog.
Just wanna update some of the incident happening around me, or even on me.

The 1st and the biggest pain to me - I lost my phone! Is on Ching Ming when I go and clean the grave, phone just slip off my sport pants, kind of bad luck..

Secondly, I had a basketball match tonight, gonna be a tough one. Wish I could grow in bigger size. Sigh...

Thirdly, I had the burning sensation to buy a brand new SLR camera. I really think photographic could be a part time for me. Really felt like wanna shoot more nice view of my university. The place is really beautiful here. (But this just applicable to those who come and see, is not a nice place to stay for the rest of your life though)

Well, well, what else, is the exam for this semester, which is the final semester in Foundation program going to held 1 month after now. Which means, all the test 2 going to held soon. More exercise and revision will be given by lecturers (perhaps not those doing nothing but just know how to tell cork & bull story) and extra classes maybe. I going to pia for this last moment and would not leave any regret in my certificate of graduation for Foundation and for the rest of my life!

APPLYING SIME DARBY SCHOLARSHIP 2010

2010-03-12T23:33:00.002+08:00

I was apply Sime Darby Scholarship just now, in the quiz part, I am asked to answer why I wanted to apply this scholarship. My answer, perhaps seems pitiful, glamorous or whatever you think I'm trying to present, that the truth and that's my answer.

"The reason I wanted to apply this scholarship is no doubt because of the problem with money. No offense that I say the scholarship offered is so tempting as it will cover fully the fees which i'm so desired to have it (because for me, the fees for the program that i'm pursuing and going to pursue is far expensive for me and beyond my family's financial availability. Seriously I got no choose but to apply for PTPTN which is a loan for study and bear the debts for years to finish my Degree program) and even the allowance too!

I might sound really funny or even silly to some people but not to those who ever face with the situation where you do not even have a money note in your wallet but owed everyone around you for countless debts. I admit I am a poor boy though it 's not my fault but other than it's fated to me but my incompetent of my parents perhaps. I never blame for that though. I am hardworking, not praising myself, even if i'm not, i'll make it happen. For proves, my quote is "Compete yourself with your yesterday". You would be pleased to refer to my results also, though it is not a flying color's results like most other applicants I reckon, but I'm making myself improve, constantly.

I wanted to steer my future, I do not want it to be suppressed by just the problem of money. I had the first step, I am on the path to a victorious life, but I knew it would happen if and only if I had the scholarship to move on to the next stage, it is a permit to my next station, (no offense saying), now the decision is up to you where I would stand, top or bottom. I promise again I'll do my best, my BEST!"

I'm praying to have the scholarship, wish I really could reduce some burden of my parents, some load of their worries.

Signing off.
Dandy

UNIVERSITY'S LIFES

2009-12-21T15:48:00.003+08:00

Perhaps it is one of the common topic people would like to write when they goes off into university. I never thought of writing one, you know, because as all the friends around me said UTP was sucks. Very fast I make my perception the same, think as they did, condemning about every single things which come up to my eyes. Here in my place, we got no entertainment like what others universities had. The best comparison is UTAR at Kampar where it is the nearest university to our's. They for at least had better food, more Chinese, (no offense I'm saying these, obviously same race would prefer the same race's friends I reckon.) more entertainment, better night life and etc compare to ours. I was so dissatisfied with the life we had here as part of it is actually influence by peer around me which complaint always with the starting word, IF. But all the way, I was wrong.

Yes I could not deny that sometimes I do hated the food selling here, the service provided here like internet always turn out and many more. Somehow I'm the one who do not have the rights to grumble a single word. I had forgotten something, forgot that how could I be here. I had forgotten my hard effort and the strong will of me to break through and to reach here which once upon a time, my dream land to be. I had forgotten how proud are my parents which working their best to sustain my life and my expense here. It seems that I had tared off the word 'Appreciate' in my Moral dictionary. So silly I am to compare my condition to all the people around me. I am nothing but the luckiest one and the one who choose by the way to be here but not the one who choose the way to be here. Silly boy... (p/s: I'm like gone out of the topic already)

I'm really not as good as others where got a very good result to be here or either a well family financial support or both. I'm the other way round of all these. Realizing of all these, I found back my way, the way I should be, the way I should behave. And I found that there are many good things here actually. (I'm talking about for myself, perhaps not for others) At the very least, I met a lot of friends here. This sounded common to others but not me because I had too little of friends in my life, an introvert boy. I had a lot of good memories here with them. And the most and thing that I always wanted myself to be, improvement. I could say, my result in here for all and every subjects are on the best in my life. Perhaps if someone who know my marks would get shock why I say those kind of low marks are consider best for me, but seriously that is me. For at least I am improving everyday. I believed until one day I would success. Lots of examples of it. I am staying on my own in dorm, not under the care of parents like usual, take care of my own, learn to be independent, improving. I started to learn badminton two months before, improving indeed. I met with lots of group work and presentation, learning to speak in public, sharpen my English speaking skill, improving definitely. Countless of things I started to learn. I had really no idea how could I condemn a single word anymore with all these good and great for me.

Thorough all these time, I really changed a lot, more to the good. The conclusion I find about people who complaint about their life, they are just never learn to be thankful to what they had now. For at least they still could play, they still could eat, they still could sleep, they are alive, not sick, perfect in physical, better still. They are just never be content with their's lot. Why don't they compare themselves to those who are poor, who are sick, who are dying, who are disabled, who are unfortunate than us? Why don't they compare themselves just to their yesterday, seek for improving everyday rather than hoping for better life? Complain, grumble, condemn, all these is an endless cycle in selfish people's life until the day they die. Lets at least learn the word 'Appreciate'. Remember, never rub them off from your mind.

A GOOD LEADER IS ALWAYS A GOOD FOLLOWER

2009-10-13T14:55:00.003+08:00

A leader is defined as the head of a group, the light or lamp to the road of his/her followers, guidelines of their acts (often, followers would see their leader as the guild of what they do is a right or wrong thing, a measure, just like a ruler) as well as a good follower if he/she has to be. You might say how could they be? They are leaders!

Above just defined about some purposes and roles of leader, but not about a good leader yet. Being a good leader is about clear on how their followers should be, understand and care for their followers' feelings, to be able to motivate them all the time positively so that they always keep their spirit up on doing things, to encourage them all the time when they are down but not giving the direct assistance to them (so that they would learn to be independent as well).

First of all, a leader could not be a leader if he/she never been a follower before. As a follower, if he/she never tend to follow instruction as what their leader expected they do, would not even to be a leader on today and vice versa. It is a minimum criteria to be leader, to be a good follower. You might say it does not necessary to be as there might be a different way to learn to be a good leader but for at least later on when he/she stood as a leader, he/she managed to know how should their followers to be. A good leader always know the right things to do as a follower as well, through that, he/she educate his/her followers to be so.

Secondly, being a good leader supposed to be understanding and caring for their followers. For most of the time, after a period as a leader, he/she would became ego, overwhelmed the power of control, command people as slave or maid. He/she would recognized himself/herself as the head of everything, naming themselves a 'leader' is a wrong word! They might have forgotten once in his/her past how he/she hate his/her boss commanding people to do things, scold people without mercy, ego and never listen to any advice from lower level. Now, he/she are actually the one whom being hated by their followers, poke and curse by them at the back. Therefore, a good leader would never be so, he/she would always know the feelings of a follower, work hard or harder together with them, demonstrating all the time and showing the good examples of all thing, never ask his/her's follower to try on something risky just like an experimental white rat, instead, he/she try it out first and lastly, the one who always on the front line of everything instead of hiding at the back, giving commands like general of soldiers (without offense telling this, just an example). See, a good leader have had the same role as a follower too, if he/she doesn't good as a follower, how well could he/she be a leader?

Thirdly, motivation from a good leader is most likely the effect of Aspirin, relieving the pain when their followers are being beaten down. Or even like the Steroid which strengthen them, boast up their life force to face their obstacles in life. A good leader would always keep his/her's followers happy and smile from ear to ear no matter what they going through. By acting as the demonstrator and mentor of everything, never show the egoism but staying in low profile, helping them at the bottom line and also imposing the sincerity for anything from the deepest part of his/her heart, their followers would know and stay loyal to him/her, perform fully to reward or a sign of respect to him/her. Effective motivation would only be proposed by a good leader if they really knew the feelings and deepest thoughts of a follower, never ignore anyone of them. Could he be a good leader if he/she don't understand their followers?

Lastly, good leaders would never help their followers directly, solve problems for them all the time for every of their ask but quite the opposite, they spiritually encourage their follower. Because they knew the fact, whereby never fish for them (as a meal when they hungry) all the time but teach them how to fish. If they were hungry, you fish for them as for meal today, could you really fish for them to feed them for tomorrow, the day after tomorrow or even the rest of your life all the time? A good leader would train their followers to be a leader but not a good follower only so that they would be a leader one day in the future as well. Good leader is a transformation of good follower, nothing more but he/she learned the act of fishing and feed himself/herself up from their ex-leader and be a leader for today. Through this assumption, supposed he/she is a good leader right?

What is the different between a leader and a follower? As a follower, you might sometimes say this, how well is he/she to be a leader of me? I think I'm much more better then him/her. (There could be 2 possibility where the fella might really not as good as you or you are actually never know the responsibility to be a leader, hereby, I'm talking about the second one, or if you are the first one also, assume that you are the second) There are many more things to learn to be a leader. The pressure they faced, judgement and evaluation by their upper level, comments from their followers, the responsibility and risks. These are something that a follower would never understand until they be a leader at once. If you are a follower, try to understand the feelings and responsibilities of a leader, if you are the other, you should make sure youself act as a good leader now and always.

HEI! YOU GOT NO TIME TO REGRET, STOP LOOKING AT THE BACK!

2009-09-09T23:55:00.004+08:00

When I was still in form 4, study literature for me is just to confront with the coming examination, part of the preparation. I does not really like poem, especially those in English, which because my English was not good all the time, could not understand the meaning of poem well. But one that really inspired me throughout is ‘The Road Not Taken’ which is a poem in the syllabus of form 4 English for literature.

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Description, it is about a traveler, he came to cross where he had to choose one of the road which diverged into, he couldn’t travel both, like he had says. He judge both the roads fairly and finally, he took the less travel one, the one covered with all the grasses. At somewhere he is aged, he tells this with sigh, because he couldn’t travel both the roads and the road he chosen, had made his life changed a lot.

That is the fact happening around us, we always met with this kind of situation, having two to pick one, only one. But what we can do? We had to choose, but that is not the issue. Because somehow when we something not going smoothly on the ‘road’ we chosen, we would have think what would actually happening now if I took the other? My life would be easier than this maybe?! Or even more, regret of the ‘road’ you chosen, grumbling why, why the heck I was that nerd and choose this road, got myself on the hard way. Did this scene with you?

As the traveler in the poem, which is actually you now, from the start, you came to where you need to choose either of this, you able to come across to this stage, means that you had the potential to go for both the road not matter how different they are. There is no right or wrong of choosing both (since you come only to this 2 decision, both were also sorted out from thousands of others decision but just this two are the one which make u headache because they are so different!) But with condition, the determination of you will decide whether you are going to regret on the next day or feel proud of yourself because of the road that you had chosen.

You are still at the middle of your journey now, never know the end. I knew this because you are hesitated. You are stuck at the middle of the path, you met with something not good, bad. You trying to go through but would not know why it is not working. The darkness in your heart, it reminds you, the moment when you choose the way out of two, you are thinking now and comparing whether it would be better if you choose the next one. You felt like giving up as it is not as you thought easy, much more differences and never expected to. You never dare to think about what is coming up next after this uncertainty. But I got to remind you of something, as the angle in your heart I say this, you got no time regret, stop looking back! In the book, ‘Rules of Life’ of Rule 3 tells us that we have to accept what is done is done and Rule 4 says accept yourself which simply mean that we shouldn’t regret of our past and accept it, work for what we have now and accept ourselves where we are human, which not perfect in everything and would always make mistake from time to time.

You would never realize that you are actually standing on the same position for so long, so damn long where if you had the determination to go further just like when you decided to take this road, the initial one, you had achieved something, you already at the front. What is wrong with the small tricks which play your strong confidences? Did you mean that weak to stand up again from fall? Would just an ant’s bite on the journey make you just give up the whole thing? Do all these make sense?! No way! You are strong! Ikeda Sensei, the president of Soka Gakkai Malaysia, (in case you do not know) always encourage all the members. One of it, he says that in anyone of us, there is a unimaginable powerful sword in our heart, which able to cleave any obstacle which blocked our way to attaining triumph, but how we could measure whether this sword is able to cleave the obstacle just in front of us now? It is only works when you believed it able to do so which it actually meant that the determination of ours’. Your determination is setting every goal of you. Come on! What are you doing over there, keep your spirit up now and go on for the fight until the end, do not look back!

MY LIFE IN CAMPUS

2009-08-17T21:15:00.000+08:00

I wasn't posting anything recently, although, it seems that i am not active in blogging anymore but actually I drafted a lot, yet most never complete. I wasn't sure whether I want to post it out or not, finding my English is weak. It is a busy week for me, should say, for all the students which involved in Tri-semester System in their respective Uni. Soon there would be a lot of test, quiz, drama presentation, (one of it is English Writing Test where needed to write an 5 paragraph essay, I am practicing) coming up just to conclude the very first semester of it. It was packed, getting harder to breathe with peace of mind and relax. Every week for me is a study week like the day we need to prepare for final examination in secondary school which just held once in a year. It is a big jump, sudden change for me. Trying to cope with it but the end of it is coming soon, and I am still finding the way.

It seems that all the small test and qiuz are not too hard for me, even say 'kacang' which means easy for majority but we cant expect it always do. Finding the only way to survive in here, this kind of system is never prolong or drag the work or task being assigned to you on that day. Must to finish it up as many are going to come up next, no worry the you will get bored that you got no work to do. Yet, found out the solution wasn't not everything of it. It is the determination dominated here now, whether you can really put down everything and just stay focus for your study? For me, it can't be. It was a harsh time for me indeed to carry it out. Someone who known me would know what is my Sat night and Sun morning for. If i am looking from the angle of here, I do sacrifies a lot, now and in future. But I do felt worth it, worth of everything because I really gained something from sacrification, it does, always. I can't just let go everything that I'm doing and just be a book worm. It was also about put in practice and acheive. Should tell about this later on.

There is comment from me also about the Trisemester system whereby I found that it just trying to develop book worm. All the time was packed, we do not have much time to do socialize, active in activities and anything other then academics.

Today's post was short and precise, because I still got a lot work to continue....

Philosophy of the day,

Work of today,
must finish by today.

今日事，今日毕

~~time to sign out~~

LESSON TAUGHT BY SCRACTCHES

2009-07-12T20:29:00.009+08:00

I had a new car, which I never mention before in my blog, facebook or friendster. Only some of my friends who met me will know about it.

Today, I did some scratches to my my new car, my brand new Myvi.

Not going to share how the scratches did but after it happened, the first I do, I rush back to my house. The moment I reach home, my mother was just outside. After I park my car, without delay, I ask her, could it be repaint by touch up the paint? Without asking the reason, she straight away scold me. After all, it is a brand new car, only on the road the third week, I damaged it, for sure she would get frustrate of it. Nevertheless, my father too after being told by my mom and seen the scratches. My feeling was just weird, sad, heartbroken, nervous as well.

For me, even I am not the only who paying the installment for this car, not the one who really owned the car, but this really was car. I really could felt the pain when it was scratched. ''This is your car now, you must take good care of it.'' This is the line which made me happy ever when I first drive the car after come back from my university. She was actually asking me to wash the car after I drove back from rainy day.

An eighteen years' old boy, had own brand new car, laptop, hand phone, I'm really lucky enough where everyone do not have all this during this age regardless compare to elder generation or even now. I often thought of it. But on the other hand, finding that I often appreciate n take good care of this things at first but not now and after. I found that I often careless and never know how to take good care of my belongings. This is what I need to change and remind myself through this lesson.

Never know whether I will have phobia after this as when I also felt scared when I drive back home from the incident place. I almost cried out when I was scolding by my dad, never know why, I told him that time, I will never drive that car anymore. Think it further, I know it is a good lesson over my life. By going through this experience and lesson, then we would be more careful and try not to repeat it as well. I admit that I often drive fast and had the mind to show off in front of anyone, the egotism really do appeared. Maybe really need to punish by this kind of incident only then I will realize and able to control it, grow more mature. I knew this is a good example of it. I will remind myself always with this incident ever.

As parents, my dad and mom, I could accept their piss off. As they are the one who paying for it, it is normal where they will scold me hardly. But on my stand, as a son, after the incident, I was in worried state as well, the reason I rush back home and inform them immediately is actually hoped to figure out what solution can be done to repair this mistake. The impression they gave me, is where making me more sad and worried as they were scolding me without listen to my explanation in advance. I was thinking at that time, if I had my children next time, they reached their age like me, I would have buy a brand new car to them as well, tell them and put the full responsibility of the car to him/her, let it really take care genuinely by them. When one day they really did some scratches on it just like me or worsen, I surely would have listen to their explain first, never scold them but ask them must to learn from the lesson. This should be the positive way to face this kind of situation but and accuse them in advance.

Conclusion is, I would remind myself with this lesson, even if I had forgotten this, this blog post will surely remind about me.

(Below are some pictures as reference)

WHEN SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU LEFT YOU

2009-07-06T19:39:00.003+08:00

When someone important to you left you,

obviously you will feel sad,

the creation of the feeling of sadness is not because of the absent of the physical body,

but it is about the start of separation between two closest bonding,

it is about waving goodbye to the familiar feeling that you would felt whenever you both met,

it is about the cut down of discussible topics between both of you,

it is about two bodies fitting in different environment with different culture now,

it is about the distinct changes and challenges facing now,

it is about individual career and different point of view now,

it is almost a 180 degree turn between both of anything,

EVERYTHING WAS DIFFERENT NOW
WHEREBY ALL WERE STILL THE SAME ON THE DAY BEFORE IT, THE YESTERDAY......

That is part of it, our life. World got no banquet without an end. Human will leave one another one day in the future.

SOMETHING THAT HAS PASSED IS A PAST; SOMETHING IN A FUTURE IS STILL AN UNKNOWN, THE ONLY THING WE CAN HOLD AND UTILIZE IT IS 'NOW'.

IMPORTANCE OF LANGUAGE

2009-06-22T23:54:00.005+08:00

I am weak in my English. I really do not dare to say it loud. It is embarassing me, being a university student, I still do not manager to speak proper in English, perhaps just in normal chit chat but not formal scene. If compare to all my friends here in UTP, they are pretty much better then me. Finding the weaknesses of my language when I do my English homework here, wondering why I can reach here also.

Maybe I know the answer, is not because of I was lucky enough, but I guess, if is compare to others, I manage to apply a higher percentage of what I had learn on my writing and speaking. Most of the people, they do seen, learned, studied a lot but they do not really able to implement most of it when they need to use it in essay writing or maybe speaking. There could be the only reason.

Language is importance where it actually always representing what your idea is and what you wanted to bring out. Obviously, it is also a great tool of communication between humans. Power of language is borderless. With language, you can negotiate well, you can save peoples' live by negotiate as well, you can get a good price for what you want through negotiate, etc. With language, you can spread you great ideas through out the world, you can do dialog with others, you can unite humans, eternity, you can emphasize the importance of world peace, great idea of philosophy to be shared through the media of language, etc.

The very first thing we actually need to put effort on is our language, it is the first creteria to step up to be success. It could be just like you had only the ideas but do not have the tools to present it, this will be what you going to face if it is not being highlight by you, meaningless.

Maybe a short post today can inspire or remind me of the importance of language on the future day when I forgot all this. Due to Parkinson maybe.

2009-06-17T21:41:00.005+08:00

Think back of the past why I wanted to start this blog...

Perhaps I just want to write down something that I learned, so that one day when I forgot them, I would to read them back in my blog.

Initially, I am not writing this blog to share with my friends. Other than some of my closer friends, no one even know that I had a blog, even when they known, they would show a shocked face, you wrote that?! I do not like the respond, perhaps they like teasing me where I would not have to know all these stuff in my 18 years' old life, philosophy.

I can strongly remember when I was in the first class of Additional Mathematics in Form 4, the teacher is an old man, going to retire soon. He keep on emphasizing ''You must understand the concept of it, if not, you can do well in it.'' Obviously is taking about Addmath, but that is actually a big moral lesson of my life. I admit that in my life, more than 50% of knowledge that I learn especially in academic, I forgot most of it. That's the reason, I do not understand the concept of it, it does not applied in my life. Perhaps, blog is the one of the best way to remind me of all this. I knew philosophy is important to my life, but before I able to apply it to my real life, I forgot most of it as there are too many I ever heard.

Just like study in Physics, we really need the understanding of concept more than finishing assignment or homework, score well in exam either. Philosophy, it changes my life. People would say, those kind of religious code just encouranges people mentally and spiritually, I still do not get the idea to solve the problem in front of my eyes which flooded me, technical solution. But it often not. Moral values often encourage people not to give up their effort, just if you bear this simple thing in your mind you can really success in you life. Sound incredible but simple. How many people can actually implement it fully and always in their life? The process is not as we thought easy.

''It can be easy to find the location of treasures, but it is hard to reach and have it:
It is simple to know a quote, but it is never easy to implement it in our life.''

APPEAL FOR UNIVERSITY TECNOLOGY PETRONAS (UTP) FOUNDATION MAY 09 INTAKE EXPERIENCE

2009-06-01T19:17:00.004+08:00

I was one of the SPM leaver who applied for UTP MAY-JUNE intake 2009 after my SPM result released. I got 10A’s and 1B. The subject which got B is English. (But I was not weak in English) Just like others, I apply the Undergraduate Program – Foundation of Engineering through the internet. The deadline was on 17^th of March 2009. I check frequently my status whether I been chosen for the EDUCAMP of UTP or not and lastly, I was been inform that I was not the shortlisted one. With the strong willpower, I try to appeal for the intake. I went to the Admission & Registration Department on the next week after I know the result of it. I make appointment with the Manager of the Admission Department, Encik Mohammad Nizar, which is responsible for the intake of student. On that particular day evening, I met him and tell him that I wanted to enter this university. And my condition and result is good whereby should be consider other than the subject English. He then asked me to type him a appeal letter, email to him and with all other supporting documents. (Notice : when you go for appeal, you can only apply as a private/self-sponsor student as you cant stand the chance to get the UTP Sponsorship anymore. Even so, with you good CGPA marks after your 1^st semester examination, you can still apply for others scholarship which available rather than accept the UTP Sponsorship as the bond for the scholarship is 10 years work for Petronas company.)

The next day, I prepared the letter in email format, scan all the supporting documents and email to the manager. After one week, there was no respond from their side and so I decided to call them to know how the status now. The manager told me they will inform me at the end of that particular week. Until Friday there was no respond yet and Sat and Sun they were obviously off. The next Monday, I call up again to ask for the status and they say will let me know by that week again. But on that week, Form 6 started, as information, if you did not get any offer from college or U, you must go back to Form 6. Even though, I got the offer from University Technical Malaysia Malacca (UTeM), yet I decided to reject it, my choice is just between UTP and Form 6 now. Back to the Form 6 make me suffer as we need to follow back all the rules and regulations just like in secondary school. On Friday again, finally they call me and tell me that I need to go for interview and examination at UTP on 18^th of May which is Monday.

On the morning of that day, I reached there about 8.15am. Saw there is already some parents standing outside the Admission Department. They asked me is it I come for the interview and they tell me their son and daughter too. They point to me which room I need to head to and then I go into the room. I was sitting on a round table with 3 indians here. One girl was from Air Tawar and two boys were from Ipoh. (One study in SMI which is same school with me and one is from ACS) I started to talk with them, asked about their result, how they appeal. Then came another Malay girl form Sitiawan. As from my analysis, the similarity of us are we got at least 8A’s for our SPM result, we are from Perak, we wanted to persue engineering course.

Here one of the invigilator come, he was in charge for the exam. He brought us to a room, seminar room. There he split us to our seat, distribute the exam paper. The first test was English. It was a 50 MCQ questions. All is just the passage with blanks where we need choose the correct answer and fill in. I believe it is just easy to anyone of you as it is just to test you grammar. The time limit was 1hour. After the English test, we were released for break, there we go for our breakfast while waiting for the next exam which will one start on 11.00am.

At 11.00am sharp, the next exam start, it was Science & Math test. Inside the content , there are 30 questions which separated equally 10 questions of Physics, 10 questions of Chemistry and 10 questions of Addmaths and Modmaths. (I recommend all of you if you go for the EDUCAMP of UTP, you must revise some of the subjects which involved so that you can answer the question well.) The time limit is the same which is 1hour. Then, it is lunch hour where we were inform the interview section will be after the lunch time, 2.00pm.

2.00pm, we go back to the same room, seminar room. The same invigilator distributed us a paper. It is a topic which is about ‘ADDICTION’. It was started with the background of the issue, telling about the abuse of drugs, government was trying to control the growing of drugs dealing, etc. Then it comes to the task where we need to do. You are now a Special Committee which for by government whereby you all need to come out with a policy and tackle this problem. At the back page of the paper, it was some solution suggested which gather from public. (All the candidates will some different solution at the back page) Down there, there is a small conclusion of you suggestion given by part of the public, the recommendation solution and policy to be recommend to the government. The task of the candidate is to tell whether you support the recommendation which given to you or not, if yes, please elaborate about it (which is actually repeat the summary of the suggestion given by the public and add on some of your ideas) or if no, please state why and with relevant information and suggest another recommendation you would do. It is actually part of what you going to answer in individual interview. We are given 20 mins to prepare and then the interview section will start. No discussion was allowed for the preparation time. I was the first candidate, the seminar room was cleared, all other gone out of the room to wait for their turn.

I first enter the room, two assessors was waiting, I was nervous at first. But both the invigilators were very friendly, they introduce themselves first then follow by asking my name. One of them then asked me about my Coco matter, then follow by whether I support the recommendation stated in the paper about the issue, addiction or not. The interview section is just like a Q&A section whereby you try to answer what they asked base on what you think. They are not really particular about the language but they are just trying to figure out what is your way of thinking. The whole section was going on in English of course.

One by one after the interview section, it was the last part which is group discussion. As I told earlier, we are given different solution for our same issue, addiction, so now we need to discuss and come out with a common and most agree solution to be recommend to the government as stated in the assessment. Now we all come back to the same room, sitting in a circle, each and every one of us speak out our points, two of the assessor will just sitting on the side and listen. (In the group, try to show own your talent of leadership, try to unite their points together and conclude them, let most of them agree with you, this might help you score high marks in group discussion section.) Then the program end. We were told that we would be inform in a week time about whether we being taken or not. And now, I am a UTP student whereby now undergoing the Orientation Week (MAS) Program. Further question you can just email me or post on my blog about my process of appeal if you were same case with me.

BIG DREAM WITH A SMALL START

2009-05-14T15:03:00.008+08:00

Big dream and our reality is separated by a river with rapid running water. The only way to cross to the opposite side is to build a bridge with named ‘Action’ on it. It required many heavy elements and materials just like 'effort', 'willpower', 'courage', etc. to build up this bridge. But yet, it is started with a small little step. Here is the start.

There are two men who graduated at the same time from a same university. One was born in town while the other one is born in village. After their graduation, both of them gone to look for their work together. This day, when they walk together on the road, the town man saw a coin on the floor, but yet he did not pick it up, pretending like never notice of it. But at the same time, the village man saw the same, he picked up the coin and shout like he found the land of China, cried in happy. The town man was mumbling to himself, what a hell is a matter of got to pick up a small coin from the floor, genuinely a village man. Meanwhile, the village man thinking, for me, the small piece of coin is a chance, represented the wealth, how come the town man can just let it leave behind and pretend like never notice although the value is just small. There, they then pass by a company, the outlook of the company is small, look untidy was posting a notice with a big word 'Vacancy'. Here the town man was thinking, so long I had studied and now I had graduated, I could not just be an office boy into such a small scale company. So then he walked away. But the village man had a different point of view, he was thinking that, it is at least a start of everything, the long journey of my life. He then walked into the company and interview for his job. After few years, the village man has been promoted to a manager of the company, with his great effort, the scale of the company has enlarged many times compared to when he enter the company due to his triumph achievement and been a listed company on that moment. One day, he met the town man on a road which currently still jobless and finding for a ‘big company’ that he always dream for. The town man ask the village man while is now living luxurious where how he could tranform from zero to a hero. He tell the town man, because I catch on every single piece of coin every time I see any which fall on the floor, never let go any piece of chance and take up step by step to grow success. I am not as ‘generous’ as you where leave the small coin (chance) to other people behind you. Then where will we earn ten coins, hundred coins, thousand coins and even bigger money?

In this story, we can see that town man who had a big dream but end up with nothing. Does this mean that we should not have a big dream? No. But we must always remember, a tall building is always started with a strong, solid and steady foundation. If you are aiming high, do not just look and think of the highest point but carefully and with all the effort, work hard and good for each and every of your step to reach the highest point of you dream. There is no way you can achieve your dream in a single step. There is how victory of life award and where the dream come true.

IT IS JUST A PAST

2009-05-14T15:03:00.006+08:00

All the won and lost is just a past, so why we must feel proud of ourselves or feel to be regretted to our achievement which has became the history? We should appreciate now.

I ever remember, someone had told me this before, there is a word ‘NOW’ in dictionary which means THIS moment. But in reality, the word ‘NOW’ is actually not exist. When you say ‘NOW’, the ‘NOW’ that you mentioned is actually is the last few seconds ago. Because we cannot catch the ‘NOW’ in our reality, the time is always running second by second, it does not wait us and what are you waiting for to take action on what you thinking to do?!

There is a man who used he whole life on making ceramics. Vase, pot, etc. One day, he was practicing doing several of toy using ceramic which is use to display and sell it for money. Ceramic does not easy to be create, it takes time to make the out shape, skill on carving, skill on controlling the fire when the ceramic is being heat up using over to fix the shape. Everything just take time and a lot of effort and patient is needed to create a beautiful ceramic product. All the procedure is needed fully hearted supervise so that it can be create perfectly. But when those toys come out from the over, it does not really look nice, it is not perfect enough as what the man expected to be. He take up a iron stick and wanted to clash all the ceramic toys he made. Another guy saw what we wants to do and stopped him. He ask the man, don’t you think is a waste that you just spoilt them like this and you never feel to be regretted that all the effort been use to do these ceramic is wasted? The man says, there is no point to regret for past mistake that we made and the most important is I will make sure that the next will be better than this.

In many times, people take a long to recover their injury after they had fall down. It is actually not the wound not yet recover but they are down and regretting for the past mistake they had done. Why must we be so as we should look to our front but not backwards, we should make sure that the next one will be a better one. A famous soccer player in England had made many goal in his life, brought a lot of glory history for his team. When reporter asks him so many goal he made in life, which one he think is the most memorable one. He answers: “The next one.” So everyone, we should always get prepare for our future but not to wasting on looking back to our history. Every new day in our life is waiting for us to write down the great history that we going to make for the day, appreciate all the day we have.

COWARD WILL HAVE MANY EXCUSES

2009-05-14T15:01:00.002+08:00

Timid one will always find himself many excuses to do a thing. Because initially they do not really want to do a thing so that they start to find so excuse, try to persuade himself to avoid the matter.

Long ago, there is a man who bought a land with a cheap price, it was a land which near beside a mountain, all kind of stones covered the land and made it hard for plant to grow. One day, his wife asks him, why not we try to move all the stone away and start our farm here. The husband replies her, it is too hard to move all the stone away and plant our crops here. If it is that easy to be move, the previous land-lord will not sell this land with such a cheap price to us. After all the argue, the wife ignore what his husband said and still want to try on her own to move all the stone away so that they can start their farm here. One day, she calls up all the children and started to pick up all the stones, move them away to other place. When only they start to pick up those stones, only then they find that is not really difficult to remove them as they do not really stuck into the ground and can be just easily move out by a small shovel. There is a phase for this, if you do not want to do something, you will found thousand of excuse for it; but if you wanted to do something (even though it is difficult), you will found a way to do it. Coward would have given many and many kind of excuse when he does not want to do or try on something new. It would be just like a mathematics question, the question could be look like very hard, but it is actually just an excuse which given buy your mind set, but you much pick up your willpower to try on it and guarantee you will found a solution for it.

THOSE WHO BOW THEIR HEAD WILL BE ELIMINATE FIRST

2009-05-12T15:27:00.001+08:00

Victory often goes to people who able to stand to the last second, even if they lose, they would not give up on that time, they will stand up again from where they fall and fight with a higher spirit. At the war ground of life, we will only lost when we give up of the fight when we are being beat down by the problem of life that we met in everyday.

Without wasting the time I share another story about it to all of you.

There is a company which advertising, whereby hire 10 professional technicians. Whoever with the qualification of degree could be consider. There is an interview and enrollment examination section to shortlist the candidate who wanted to be hire. Once the advertisement start, many people was attracted to this and head them to apply and go on their procedure to get into this. On the interview section, there is a man who done really well and been recognized by all the committee who responsible for the interview section. All of them recognized the talent of him and strongly believe that the contribution power of him to the company in future. But yet, due to the technical error, the result of him for the enrolment exam wrongly stated in the computer system and he is not one of ten technicians going to be hire. After knowing this, the manager of Human Resource department decided to hire him and yet he asked the secretary to type the appointment letter and send to him. When the letter reach the man house, it was too late. The neighbor tell that he was committed suicide after he get to know that he was not being hire by the company on that particular day. The secretary tell the incident to the manager and said: ‘’Haiz… It is to be regretted where we lost a talented one which can contribute for our company. If there is no technical error we could have save a life.’’ But the manager reply in another angle to her: ‘’I do not think it is to pity but we are lucky that we did not hire this man. He could not even stand such a small setback and tend to commit suicide, I do not think he can contribute much better to the company without the willpower to fight again when being defeat once.’’

There could be many people in our life same to the man which talking about above. The one who being eliminate is not one who lose but the one who bow their head, give up for the fight first in their life. In a competition, if you lose once does not mean you going to lose the whole competition. You would at least with the chance to do it again with an extra effort on it. But if you choose to give up means you will going to lose the whole competition without trying on the single piece of hope, totally hopeless. So please do not give up even until to the last breath of life, the victory does not exist without the strong willpower to stay along for the fight.

CHOOSE THE BEST CHOICE AT THE WORST TIME

2009-05-10T22:20:00.000+08:00

Is been so long I drag my blog. There is many long story behind where I was lazy to explain in my blog. Life is about to gain more knowledge and help more people.

Recently I read a book with the title about ‘choose the best choice at the worst time’.

This is one of the best book I would like to share about the content of it to all my friends here after dragging my blog for so long.

I was pretty much touched and inspired by the book with the first chapter, ‘You will never know the result if you never try on it’. This made me attracted to it and decide to dig for detail and try to digest the content in it.

Here it started with a story, which is about the street in our heart. One day, a man stand on the start of the street, looking at the street nameplate, had ‘success’, had ‘life’, had ‘achievement’…… He was thinking, this should be the correct path to go for all this. He was standing at the start, looking to the end of the street, calculating the distance of the street. At this moment, a lion appear in front of him, standing and facing the man. The lion was a fierce and hungry one, could eat him on anytime. The lion was roaring and staring on him. The man was in panic, he do not even dare to move a step, he was hesitated now whether he should go further even he know this the right path to go on. The lion was just big and blocked the way for him to move further. He must to pass by the lion to go further. The man was thinking, if I was lucky enough, the lion is a vegetarian one, he could escape from being swallow, but if the lion is the other way round, then he could to lost his life before he can start his first step. He was standing still, and the lion too. Both like waiting for the other to take action. The man firstly thought maybe the lion will move away after it was tired for standing that long at there but it was not. He got no choice but to change it plan. He tell himself this time, since the lion is purposely blocking the way, rather the die of waiting, I better try to take my step front to try my luck. When he finally raise up his thousand brave to walk to the front towards the lion step by step slowly. When he reach the lion, it was not fierce at all but with a friendly face asking: ‘‘what take you so long to move towards me, i had wait you for so long and I was here to fetch you. Now tell me where you want to head to?’’

Many times in our life is the same, the streets that seems very hard to walk through could actually is the shortcut to our success. We would never know the result if we never take up the courage to try on it. If you think you can, you can; if you think you cannot, you cannot. In our reality of life, there could be the same case as above, there could have lion blocking the way which make you hesitate, there could be a big stone stuck the front where make you cannot move further to the front, but the importance is you must have the courage and the will to try on it, there you will think out or just meet the solution and make it as the potion to grow stronger.

MY RESULT

2009-03-13T12:10:00.007+08:00

SPM for the year 2008candidate
AC031A002
NAME: DANDY LAU JING HUI
FACE: VERY LONG FACE
AGE:18
PHONE NUMBER:0165944970

HMM... I JUST COPY WHAT PEOPLE WROTE, TRYING TO POST MY RESULT HERE. SEE SEE WHO AND WHICH WHERE WANT ME THIS STUPID BOY. BUT I REALLY WANT TO ENTER UTP. T_T

BAHASA MALAYSIA 1A
BAHASA ENGLISH 4B
SEJARAH 1A
PENDIDIKAN MORAL 2A
MATEMATIK 1A
MATEMATIK TAMBAHAN 1A
BIOLOGI 2A
KIMIA 2A
FIZIK 1A
INFOMATION COMMUNICATION & TECHNOLOGY 1A
ENGLISH FOR SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY 2A

WHAT THE **** IS THAT?! THE STUPID ENGLISH SUBJECT! I GOT 4B!!! T_T
So what is my next goal? Determining....
Is not funny anyway....

SPM RESULT

2009-03-13T10:25:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, my SPM result released. My result was just look good to any buddy. I got 6A1 4A2 and the very surprising and dissappointing part is I GOT B4 FOR MY ENGLISH AND 6C FOR MY 1119 PAPER. The damn very first of mind think, is really damn impossible where i think the worst done exam of me in my SPM 2008 is just the stupid essay about Demam Denggi in Bahasa Malaysia's paper 1. Damn freaking is i think i really done OK for my 1119 essay which i wrote about the plane clash. Wondering why i will get such result and getting insult by friends where i english was so poor, even i know they were just joking but i felt really hurt of this.

My parents, was expecting me to go oversea to further my study. They hoped for so long where if i can get to enter Nanyang P. of Singapore. But now i get B4 for my English, i lost the single piece of chance out of thousand million to get into the campus anymore where every buddy know Singapore really required English as a basic eglibilty. But i do not really expect much to futher study at Singapore where people all say is too stress and strain to study there, no relative there to take care of me, none of knowing friend there and a total strange place to me.

I was aiming for University Technology Petronas (UTP), Thonoh at the very first of all. I was hoping to enter U for foundation year and then futher my Diploma and Degree of Information Technology in it. But after i check the requirement of it this morning, i got the very bad news again where they ask for A2 in Bahasa Malaysia, ENGLISH, Maths... I had no idea know what to do. Can anyone of you advice me or something? Should i really remark my paper? But the closing date of application (through web, duno the exact closing date if i walk in interview) is 17 of March 2009. Or is there any alternative way to get into it? Beg the principle or something? Pay under-table money? I really need you guys to advice me. Please...

UNREVERSIBLE STEP

2009-03-02T10:40:00.011+08:00

Is been a few days i din not update my blog post. Just changing the appearance of my blog where changing the theme. (But not really know how to use other template other than blogger provide one)

My feelings now just complicated, so cross at this rate, wondering what was i sad and worrying about. Maybe is because of the SPM result is going to release very soon. (The second week of March) Wondering where should i go. I know i will be leaving the life that i had now, the comfortable, full with happiness and enjoyable life. But it seems to short where maybe i dun really 'taste' this memorable period well. Wondering the sweet time will be gone after the result out and i had to decide the way i need to go.

No matter which way i choose to go, i was to leave the life now and enter another stage of life, to stranger place and suit myself into it again. (Again, is because where i finished my SPM, i face the same too, enter a new company with all the new faces appear in me, just finally get to suit myself pretty well here, the environment, now i got to leave again and move to another place)

Time just passed so fast, looking back to my life for the past few months, just happy like a dream. Wonder it could be just a dream. I will be missing here very soon. Nevertheless, all my friends and coulleage here will feel the same too. But i might be just a cloud that passed by thier life in a short while only in their mind. At this rate, i wonder i am worrying and cross about the coming life style.

I am now like standing at a point which covered with haze and dust, i cannot get to see clear to my future step, my front. And there is no way i can reverse my step, there is no way i hide myself, sit down on a side and not to move further. It is just like sitting on a boat on a rapid flowing river, no way i can reverse. No way...

PHILOSOPHY

2009-02-25T10:59:00.009+08:00

Did you like to read books? Recently, i had started to read more books. Especially books that wrote by Ikeda Sensei, all is regarding the great philosophy of life. As a PIC of Gymnastics Group, i must make myself wiser in everything. Especially on this year where we going to have many planning to strengthen our group, cannot loosen up even one day.

Improved even a little bit, walked in front even just a small step further in a day also considered as victory of our life. Victory is judge by the improvement but not the temporary glory that having by us now. This is what though by Ikeda Sensei and noted in his published book, 'Youth's Dialog'.

I remembered i was told by cultural group adviser. We had only one life to go through, all the hardship we going to face by our own, only we can feel the life that we going to go through, gain the experience of life on our own. But if we read on the books where people written down about their past, about what the hardship they face in their life and what is their solution, what and how they do on certain hard situation, their gone through life, we can actually wider your infinity limit's mind which like the deep blue sea. We will get to go through their life when read about their life, feel their life, learn the way the solve their problem which may also meet by us in our life. We can go through more than one life. Is like in a jungle, you slashed out more way out, you can choose the correct and the brightest way you wanted go through now. And the most important is, you would not repeat the mistake where they made and regret.

There was where i start to read, read as more as possible, gaining experience by reading without need to try on it. (Certainly, when people do not know how to do something and where there are more than one way of doing, without knowing which one is the right one, they would to try one by one.) Raising the wisdom of my mind, brighten the eyes and get to choose the right one.

Even so, youngster might think that philosophy is more for elder people, all the principle of life, only needed by them, discuss by them and tell by them. Then you are WRONG. There are many philosophy which needed to know by us even when we was at the age of teenager. The books of 'Youth's Dialog' that bought yesterday, where i just read for few pages only, found that all the examples using, all the situation giving just exactly what is happening in our youths' life and the way to solve, the positive thinking it should be is written down in it. (Example like relationship with parents, compare with our yesterday, do not mind peoples' provoke)

There is more and more reason we need to read. All the knowledge of man is recorded in it. Do not think that the philosophy you learn today does not need by you and forget by you easily, in one coming day, you will get use to it.

Here i advise all guys, no matter how hard is the condition that you facing now, you must have the correct and positive thinking mind, never give up and tell yourself, you will grow stronger if you able to break through the hardship that you facing now. Is a great success you will get from it. Never think that you are the stupid one, cannot do anything, slow learning and not like others, because our brain is born the same at the start and all the while you must train it to make it more efficient. This is the formula of our brain, the more you use it, the more nimble it is. Furthermore, realize that the importance of foundation whereby without the good foundation when we are young, you cannot be a success one in the coming day. Beside that also, the only thing that will defeat youth is the mind set, the negative thinking, the feeling that scared of being defeat by anything. (Means as long as you believe, there will be no such words, 'defeated' in the history of your life.). The importance of foundation, without the foundation, we are not going to make a great success, where just like build a bigger building will need a bigger and stronger foundation...

All the above philosophy of life are read from the book, 'Youth's Dialog'. Incredible and interesting huh? Figure out more the benefit of reading philosophy. Believe it can fit for every stage of age. You can only feel it when you start to read it sincerely on your own. Hereby i end my post.

THE REWARD ON HELPING PEOPLE

2009-02-20T16:50:00.005+08:00

Sorry that i did not write the post about "Life As a Candle" as i draft it already due to no idea to continue it. So now the topic here is "The reward on helping people".

Normally what will you hope on the person to reward you when you help them great? Erm... People might think sure is money as a reward for me will be better la, because with the money i can buy something that i like, so i will be happy. Or maybe you actually aiming for something from whom you want to help. Like helping your mum do house work, you will hope her to buy you something. Like helping your boss very hard, hoping he/she will give you bonus at the end of the month. Like helping your friends...

Many many things you might hope as a return and reward to you from all the people that you help. This is just the normal respond of our mind, where expecting reward from people that you helped. Actually, i can summarize it where all the reward you wanted is actually the feelings of happy. Example like you hoping your mum will give you some pocket money to buy something after you help her do work, if you get to buy the thing that you hoping for is equal to happy. So actually i am the same too. I wanted the feelings of happy as my reward too. But what i want and did might be different from you.

Since i was small, i do not really know how to be happy, how to smile, how to laugh, how to tell jokes. I will only be happy when i saw people smiling or laughing. (Every buddy is the same on this, when the people around you is happy, you will felt it too) But i am that kind that which do not know how to make myself happy. All the time my feelings of happy is dispersed from others around me, people tell jokes to me, all the people are laughing i was influence by them. So, that is the only i can be happy always. Helping people, making them happy, release their tension, reduce their load of jobs.

Today, i was really busy actually, especially run up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down..... Really tiring. Plus yesterday not enough sleep. (Often wake by dogs and roosters, tonight i will chop them down, haha....) But i was really happy when i saw my colleagues all settle down their problem with my help, see them finally can smile, i was really happy on that moment. (Maybe from my look, you cannot even see through that i am happy) Even i was tiring helping them but their smile and laugh is actually the greatest reward i hoped from them. Even the tiredness of body does not reduce but i was happy enough where they really appreciated my help, said just 'Thanks' to me, feeling like want to fly up to the sky.

So hereby, i end my post happily. Hope that you will accept people's help especially those people who sincerely offer himself/herself to help you. Do not think that they are hunting something from you where actually they might just hoped can get to see a smile from your face. And pleased do not reject their help as scaring it is making trouble to them or will make them feel tired of this. Maybe they actually really happy to help you. Why don't you give them a chance to help and you are actually suppressing their feelings of happy? So cruel!

THE TRUE VICTORY

2009-02-18T11:07:00.015+08:00

How do you define the meaning of victory?
Many people will thought victory is getting champion in competition, won number one, break a record of world record, getting the highest score in an exam... Many many different types of example of this which can only show the temporary victory of ones. According to the definition from Wikipedia, the meaning of victory is

But i am not really agree with that. For me, the meaning of victory is more to improving ourselves in everyday life other than winning something or someone. Let's just have a simple example. (This is my style, telling everything with prove and example, truth definitely.)

Example 1:
Who do you think is the success one? A or B? Let me show a simple statistic. (Since someone like Statistic)

Final Year Exam for subject X

Year/Student	A	B
2003	88	50
2004	90	62
2005	90	69
2006	89	75
2007	90	83
2008	89	88
2009	90	90

So who do you think the true victory is belongs to? A, which always get the highest score or the B, which is improving all the time? Erm... I think you really get what i am trying to say right? If you were A, from my point of view, even you hold the highest record, you feel proud of yourself, but if compare to the one who improving all the time, he/she will able to chase you up in one day. So i really prefer to be B.

I ever seen this line on a advertisement board before.

''Record is to break, but not to hold.''

It really inspired me a lot, realizing that the matter of win or lose is not the true victory of our life. The true victory is actually about winning yourself. The true victory is judge by comparing yourself to your yesterday. If you learn something new, you won your yesterday. If you did something great today, you won your yesterday. If you think out a new idea, you won your yesterday. If you......

So bared that in mind, especially to those who feel yourself is stupid, slow learning or any negative idea, do not define the meaning of victory wrongly. Do not ever think that you will not be the victory one. Because you should actually compare and compete with your yesterday but not to anyone around you. Only the one who can improve in every life can match and equal him/herself as a victory one.

Ever heard one phrase in chinese. 'Ren bi ren, bi si ren' (human compare/compete with human, is dying) Is kind a hard to translate because i am not a translator. But i can roughly explain the meaning which is actually telling if human compare/compete with human, it will end up.... What about a example that i met before again?

Example 2:
These day, my younger brother brought a new phone. The reason is his friends all with a new handphone which most of it is latest model phone. So my brother eyes red on people la, jealous. So he grumble to my mum and begged her so long to buy a newer handphone la. (Actually got one already but felt that one 'lau ya' already) After he bought the new handphone, sure he go and show off around to all his friends la. But then, yesterday night, my mum told me that my brother's friend's mum called my mum, which actually also is my mum's friend said his son (my brother's friend) want his mum to buy a new phone to him too when he saw my brother had the new handphone.

What do you think? If i had a new handphone? I buy a newer, more expensive one, for sure there will be another people who had a more expensive and newer compare to mine? So until when i want to change my handphone to a latest one?

So actually human should not compare to human as there are many human in this world with different different characteristics, and we had our own. So we can just only compare the our yesterday. As long as you win your yesterday, you will have the true victory soon, very soon.

Hereby, I end my post again with starting another post which is about the 'Life As a Candle'.
From Dandy

BEING A COPY CAT Part 2

2009-02-16T11:00:00.002+08:00

Ermm... Second part le. So actually being a copy cat, you can copy whatever thing that is valuable for us to learn from our friend. But firstly you must know to differentiate right and wrong, good and bad, correct or incorrect. Please aware, do not simply follow what people do o. Actually there is a lot you can learn when you be a copy cat which copy what people do. This day, when i was working upstairs of my office with my boss. I learn many new things, do exactly what she want is actually what she want me to do. And i try to follow what my colleagues do, the way they do, as they already work upstairs with her so long and totally can get what my boss actually want us to do, the way she want us to follow exactly. So being that i can actually avoid some unnecessary and unpleasent scold from my boss.

Anyway, copy the way people talk and do can actually learn to be more polite. (if only you copy from someone who talk politely often) Follow on what people do, the way people do, you can learn many new way of problem solving. Just like how i learn the way to do something to meet what my boss actually need. Many others advantages actually, try to use your wisdom to think about it.

Actually i realizing the fun and the advantage of being a copy cat is inspired my senior, Wai Loon also. Yesterday when i finish my gym practice, i had a conservation with him on the way to improve my Gymnastics group which is now under construction by me, karchun, all the PTC...
He tell me about this, to be sucess in doing something, just like how i want to improve my group now, the very first of all, you must have an idol, someone that you want to follow him/her foot step. By having a idol, then you must try to copy what he do. Like a artist, you must first have a idol, try to re-draw his work of art. After you gain some experince from following what he/she draw, you can slowly add in your own idea to in, improve it. Here you can create you own style when you had the basic already. If you do not have an idol to follow, you will have to start all over again, you will have to think everything, create everything on your own, you will walk back the same way that been walked by the first one who create this. Understand?

Erm... Actually there is still morre and more advantages of being a copy cat. Try on to be a copy cat today. Repeat what people say, act like what people do, copy and paste their hard work and add in your own idea too. No time to continue this title le. So that's all. Bye!

Post ended.

BEING A COPY CAT Part 1

2009-02-16T09:27:00.014+08:00

These day i was really busy, busy on my work. Working upstairs is a bit terrible that i am thought of but i am very happy where i can see someone that i really wish to see everyday there! haha... Working upstairs is actually need double effort, double careful, double spirit, double attention, double... Everything need double compared to working down here. Most of the time just do work and do not even have time to surf my blog. A lot of idea to write on my blog, but now most of it i forgot already. Today, i want to share about the benefit of being a COPY CAT.

Firstly, i would like to define the meaning of copy cat. Copy cat, obviously is copy on what people do, what people said, copy their idea, copy... Just act similar like others. Is kind of fun if you try to do so. Different people had different characteristic, had some specific thing to say, specific motto. These day, i would like to copy what they said, repeat again what they tell. At start, i am just want to play a fool with them. Being a copy cat is just like a clown, making fun to people. But later on, i found something really interesting, valuable for me to continue with this, being a copy cat.

Acting like this, a copy cat can actually meet the criteria of mirroring human's attitude. Just like what i said in the previous post, 'Human Is Like a Mirror?'. Example when people say something rude to you, you try to say the same thing to him/her. When people sometimes act rude on you, you try to act rude on him/her too when you have chance. When people tease you when you do something wrong, you also try to tease them back when they did the same thing. By doing this, they will know how rude actually they are, how hurt is it when they tease people.

This is actually human. Human often does not realize their fault when they did something wrong. We actually need third party to tell us so, only then they will aware on it. So being a copy cat, without the need of third party, you can make them conscious.

Example:
My mum has a bad habit. When people is in trouble, like last time my brother's ATM card jam in the ATM machine when he try to do payment. My brother called back to my mum and tell her about this. Instead of comfort him or care about him but she scold him stupid la, padan muka la, this la that la... All the negative things. I think it should not be like this because i know the purpose of my brother call back and tell her about this is actually he worried and crossed, do not know what to do so he call my mum. But my mum just acting up-side-down to what my brother expected her to say. So what i do is i look for chance, when my mum did something wrong, i will say the same to her when she grumble to me. I will say back her stupid, padan muka.... (Is actually rude but i am actually work as a copy cat, repeat what she said before) When sometimes she really get angry on what i say i will immediately explain to her, she are the one who tell this when people actually want you to pity, comfort or advice. Nowadays, she changed a lot. Interesting... Don't you think it is?

Wait to see the second part, there is actually many advantages being a copy cat without realizing it. See ya...

TEACHER

2009-02-11T10:15:00.003+08:00

Just a very short post for the day. I was in bad mood yesterday because of some family problem. Today, i was quite lazy to write my blog also but when i was reading my own post which i wrote in the past, i was actually get inspired by my own advice. It is kind a hard to explain. There is like two soul living in me. Maybe i used to split them into two, two personality. I still cant combine both of them. Just like a devil and a angel both live in my heart, one is negative and one is positive.

Dun bother about that first, that is not my topic today. I was here about to share few categories of teacher. Teacher can be rank into different level. In my point (is actually read from Cosmic by Ikeda Sensei and i really agree with it), there are four types of teacher. Classed into moderate, good, excellence and great.

A moderate teacher will tell,
A good teacher will explain,
A excellence teacher will demonstrate,
A great teacher (mentor) will lead and do together with you.

This is what i read from Cosmic magazine, a magazine which publish by SGM. Is a magazine that full with philosophy which wrote by Ikeda Sensei. I think four line up there is very clear already and does not need further explaination right? I think i am still in the second stage on, a good teacher. Because i just manage to advice people but sometimes cant even demonstrate to people what i advice them to do or to be. Hopefully you will able to acheive the fourth stage, a great teacher, mentor of life which able to lead your people to the true happiness. Just like what Ikeda Sensei doing...

Hereby, i end my short and simple post for the day.

INDEPENDENT

2009-02-07T11:46:00.004+08:00

It is not about the Independence Day of our country. This day i was very busy on my work. As i told before, i work as a sales representative. Nowadays, no more promotion for now until 20th of Feb, so all day long i was sitting in office doing the Customer Service job. I faced a lot of problem and challenge here. Most of the time at the early stage, i am working dependently. When i meet some fussy customer in phone, i will pass the call to my senior. As time passed, do not want to tell what happened in the middle la. I faced a lot of problematic customer, really troublesome one. Even get complaint by customer and say want to talk to my manager due to improper management. And my senior do not have time to settle for me sometimes. So i try to learn from my lesson, take it as a motivation. I decided to do work on my own, all my own, never pass the job to my senior any more. Even sometimes i still need their help, but i will try all my best on my own work. Even sometimes i might curi tulang to write my blog. But i would not to let my customers scold me even once.

A proper management is needed in Customer Service of a company. 'Customer Service's job is to make your customer satisfy your service but not due more problem to your customer.' That's is the line i learn from customer which scold me. I will remember it and take it as my experience.

For the conclusion, human must not depend too much on each other. It will create the laziness of us where you will always though that people will help you to settle all your problem and delay the grow of your maturity and the skill of problem solving. Especially in a group, a company. We must learn to do and to work independently. Cannot often relay on someone else, hope on them to finish or settle it for you. We should not blame the one that cannot settle for you but you should blame yourself as you are the one who unable to settle it on your own. When you start to think on a different angle, you will find a different conclusion of a matter. Next i will explain further about this. Post end.

FAMILY BONDING

2009-02-04T14:49:00.020+08:00

How is your relationship with your parents right now? Did you often quarrel with them? Or just well but you dun usually talk with them? Fortunately i am not like you all. Talking about the relationship of me with my parents, we are just as nice as good friend. I know this is what most of the people wanted for but they can achieve on it. Why?

Here i want to share my about story about my life with my parents...

When i was still young, i'm just the same like you all, a normal kids that have a normal life. With both parents staying together with me peacefully. I'm born in a family which is neither very rich nor poor. I seldom see them quarrel,(once in a while got la, most of it is because of financial problem) but i am the one who often quarrel with them.

When i was still young, i like to do what they do not like or do not wish me to do. Maybe is because they restricted what i want to do or where i want to go. Even just because of some small small matter, example like my mom don't let me go to play basketball at afternoon (i like to play basketball), i will beh song her for few days. Maybe i will try to make her angry or something just like revenging to her for that. I was wondering now why i was that childish and stubborn, trying to do all this kind of silly stuff just to piss her off purposely.

Talking about my farther, since i was still small, he don't often came home. He often work at out-station. He just don't even like to stay at home when he was around. So my brother was just like him right now, like to hanging around rather than stay at home. As he don't come home often, then how i will get to communicate with him much? So we don't often chat. What he ask me last time will be often about my study, does not ask more than that.

There is a period where i am super active in SGM, i really learn a lot in there. Started to change my attitude, change my character and personality. I started to compromise with them all the time in very matter. Even though sometimes i might still have quarrel with them but is not like when i was young anymore. I try to use what i learn to persuade them all the time and never tell lie to them. And when they saw the change in me, they started to tolerate with me, listen to what i say, accept my point of view.

As i said before, human is like a mirror. When they found that you often treat them well, you often keep your word as a promise and you never lie on them, you talk to them softly and politely often, they will do the same to you too, even your parents will. This is the proper way to solve the complicated relationship between son and parents.

And sometimes, no, is all the time, children will face this kind of problem. In parents' eyes, their view, children is always children. So they often restrict their children to do something or go somewhere and ever simply do not accept what they say even it is correct, especially girls. On their side, they often want to protect their children from injury, they often try to prevent their children from getting hurt. So they often restrict their children to do this and that. We cant understand this before we take their responsibility. But sometimes, on our stand point, they are too over. Is actually suppress the freedom of us, children. There is also one of the main factor children like to against their parents, want they want us to be or what they wish us to do.

Ever really sit down and try to talk with them nicely? Ever try to tell them you are big enough, matured enough to handle all your problem and even able to take care of yourself on your own as well? You might think your parents are stubborn, is impossible that they will listen to you all this kind of bullshit. Then you are totally wrong! Actually, parents always care their children, they will feel happy on you if they know you grow matured. There is no way parents will hate their own child on the beginning, or else what for they want to give birth to you? Do not judge them by your analysis that they would not listen to you. That is the only way that you can pull back the bond between you and your family members.

Believe it...

THE IMPERFECTION OF PERFECT

2009-02-04T09:05:00.006+08:00

Aren't everyone wanted to have a perfect life? People always grumble about their life. Why they are so poor and not like those who rich? Even blame on why people had a better luck compared to himself/herself. Why they are not as clever and intelligent as other so that they can stand a better score in exam? Why this and why that... Why world has so many imperfect part? Why human life does not born in a perfect mode? Good looking, intelligent, rich and great in everything...

Actually, if we think it twice, did you realize the imperfection of a perfect life? On the view of a imperfect life, you might thought that is must be kind of fun having a perfect life. Having a good looking face could have attract many attention for people, having an intelligent mind you could have own the country, dominate the world, having a lot of money could even enjoy your life pretty well as you could buy whatever, go wherever, do whenever you like to, which is a totally luxurious life ever!

But you would start to find it bored when you found that there is no challenge in this world anymore, is no point to stay on as you can get something easily. Everything that come in easy will not be appreciated. That's the fact.

There is where the true fun of life is, it is imperfect. Human could often chase and dream of a perfect life, but they don't actually own it. It is not because they cannot but is because they should not and would not as well. No doubt, you would not like it at all a life without a single piece of challenge.

Hereby i end my post about my topic,
any comment you can drop me please do so,
thanks...

EAGLE'S LIFE

2009-02-03T09:25:00.008+08:00

Today i want to share something with you guys. Maybe you will get some lesson from it. Even i am out of topic to share about but i think this can inspire you as well. It was about the life of an eagle.

Do you know about eagle? I think most of us would not have any information about it more than knowing it is a kind of bird. It is the strongest among the air unit animal, king among the bird types. Just like the Lion King on the land. It has a pair sharp eyes that always noticing on it's prey, a long pair of wings that can bring it high on the sky and also can hold it on the air and turning round and round looking for it's prey, a pair of sharp and deadly talons and beak which can catch it's prey and due it to death easily.

The life spend of an eagle is about 70 years. But yet, it's life is split into two stages, the primary life (40years) and the secondary life(30years). On the early life, an eagle live just normal, hunting it's prey with it's deadly beak and talons. but it is a hard process to when it reach about the end of the primary life time. It is a hard decision for it to continue the life.

By that time, it's long and flexible talons can no longer grab prey which serves as food, it's long and sharp beak becomes bent, It's old-aged and heavy wings, due to their thick feathers, become stuck to it's chest and make it difficult to fly.

Then, the eagle is left with only two options: die or go through a hard and painful process of change which lasts 150 days.

The process requires that the eagle fly to a mountain top and sit on it's nest. There the eagle knocks it's beak against a rock until it plucks it out. After plucking it out, the eagle will wait for a new beak to grow back and then it will pluck out its’ talons. When its’ new talons grow back, the eagle starts plucking it's old-aged feathers.

And after about five months, the eagle takes it's famous flight of rebirth and lives for 30 more years.

At many times in order to survive, we have to gone through a change process, a hardship.

We sometimes need to get rid of old memories, habits and other past traditions.

Only by freeing from past burdens, we take advantage of the present.

p/s:

So what do you think about it? What is your point of view on the life of an eagle? Just drop me a comment about it, maybe i can learn something from your point of view.

My post

2009-02-02T15:20:00.002+08:00

I am getting out of topic on sharing my knowledge that i learned to all of you. Maybe something that i know which needed by you all had been forget by me and need you all to make me recall back. Hope all of you can ask me some question which you want to know, maybe you have problem that need my advice? Dun be shy and lazy to drop me a comment in this post and i will start on answering you in the next post when i found your question is interesting.

Anyway, i might start my chinese blog soon because i found that human had different characteristics and personality when using different language. Language is actually giving the characteristics and personality of ones. It is all depend on where you learn the language from. A simple example might make you agree with me.

Example :
'A' person say i know some chinese words, 'A' is not a chinese.
'B' person also say i know some chinese words too, 'B' is the same, not a chinese.
When they start to ask each other what words you know is chinese? 'A' actually learn all the chinese words from a customer services staff in his company. All the words he learn is chinese is all the greeting words, saying 'hi' in chinese, wishing people in chinese.
But for 'B', he was learning chinese from a group of corrupted teenagers, learned all the foul language in chinese. All the words that use to scold and screw people badly, spoiling his own reputation.
Even both of them were act really polite when they speak in english, but yet when they speak in their chinese to chinese people, it's showing that 'B' is having a bad characteristic and personality no matter actually how good is him compare to 'A' just because the words they learn in chinese is different.

That what i'm trying to say, maybe i have a better idea and better expression in chinese compare to when i'm using english to express my knowledge. Soon...

LAW OF NATURAL

2009-02-01T22:45:00.002+08:00

Is been a couple of days i din update my blog, lazy. Or more accurately is actually i have no idea of what to share in my blog this few days. Anyway, today i have one.
Actually, day past really fast. So fast that three months already past since the SPM examination finish. Even until now where two more months to go for the result of SPM to release, i am still blur on entering what career and asking for some advice from senior about this.
Eventhough i miss my school life, my schoolmates, all my friends which can only meet during tuition or at public library, all my teachers, but yet i started to love and enjoy my life with all my working partners, my working day and place, the though situation and challenges that i face in my working period.

I believe as what people say, time can vanish the loveliest memory of ones no matter it is a sweet, a good one or a bitter which is a bad one. Even the memory of the dearest one that you met in your life cannot run away from this fact. Although sometimes some matter, place, thing or word might remind you about him or her but yet the feeling of all kind is no longer there. Further, you might cant even remember clearly the face of him or her if you did not keep of photo of him or her and the memory will keep fading day by day. That is what i'm really afraid of. I was scared that anyone that i meet before, that i help before, that help me before, that teach me, that...... all the memory will vanish as time past second by second. It was making me like a selfish and a heartless one because even the dearest one that ever appear in my life i also forget but i cant do anything to change this fact.

I'm always trying to remember all of them in my mind, 'lock' their smile in my face as capturing a picture, always flash back on what they did to me. But just like remembering all the numbers. At start you might get to remember all of them, but as the quantity is increasing (as you grow, you will meet more different peoples),i can feel my limit of the memory to store all about them in me. It is like a storing capacity which is full. When you want to add in another new thing to the full capacity, you will have to eliminate some so that there will be space for the new. So my memory on all the people that i met which i want to remember is working the same. The memory when i was still a kid of few years old i forgot the most. And i know this will continue to work and all the loveliest people that i met now will be forget by me soon for the coming decades.
I'm wondering is there any way to stop this, is there any way boot up my limit of memory (maybe like a computer where change a better RAM or a higher capacity hardisk?), is there any way........ It is a chidish thinking of way which i know it wont be exist.
So as now i know the fact, knowing there is no way to change the law of natural, what i can do is only appreciate all the people that i met now, my parents, my siblings, my friends..... I always stare on a person, is actually trying to capture a photo into my mind, the smile, the face. Trying to treat them as well as possible as it is the last time where i can meet or see him or her face, hear him or her voice indeed. Assuming everyday is the last day is the only way you would not regret even you totally forget a person that did a lot to you because at least you often treat him or her the last day of their life, the best treat to them ever.
To all especially who reading this, hopefully you will appreciate all the day we meet, all the things we do together, all the matter we share on, all the hardship we go through on the coming day.

p/s:
Actually last few day i was trying to tell this to michelle, my god daughter, but because i'm telling it in SMS, she might misunderstand on what i'm trying to say (because i want to split what i want to tell in two and she read the first part and though i was trying to get rid of her or something) and asked me to leave her alone. Haiz, so i did not do further explanation about this to her as she said, leave her alone.

Life and Death Part 2

2009-01-27T11:48:00.001+08:00

I going to continue my last topic here which is about death. But before that i would like to explain why i start this lame topic, Life and Death is because many people start in this world like for no point. They work for earning money, earning money to get food, get food to eat, eat to continue to stay alive and stay alive duno for what main purpose, no big objective no mission in their to aim to complete. So i'm here sharing something what i learn and what i see in life regarding this topic and add in some of my points in this topic. You might have a defferent point of view regarding this and you can share with me (like jeffery) in my blog as a comment.

Death
What will you think about it when you saw this word, saw people's funeral, heard the death of relative from your friends or even your relatives' death? Is it a bad thing?

We are born to this word and this is one of the process that we going to face and cannot run away from it. Live and dead is the natural and continuous process that happen around us. It can be explain by the process of wake and sleep. Everyday we will wake up on the morning and until the night you will sleep. Buddhism believe that there is another life after one's death. The death is just another process to go on to the second life. Like how you sleep, and you will wake up again on the second morning and this process will go on and on non stop.

It is all depends on your point of view sometimes, you might say, death is definately a bad thing. But at a different angle of view, a death, a sacrification of a man, which that can inspire or save the life of another big group of peoples is a good thing. A death can be a great inspiration for other because it is a unreturnable process which will make people regret. Will people regret on something meaning that they are inspired.

As i said, death is a process that we going to face and cannot hide from it in our life. With realizing this, we should appreciate our life everyday. Do not ever waste your time on doing something meaningless and useless. Must always clear in your vision on your mission and objective in this world. For me, as the day i still alive, i will try my best to serve my people, human, keep inspire them to grow so that they can save more others like what i did right now to prevent human blur about their live. And yet with all the healthy mind of all human, a peaceful world is no more dream.

We are born in the same world, one earth, why we are fighting against each other for all the useless paper (money) which we cannot own it after we died?

Life and Death Part 1

2009-01-26T00:09:00.001+08:00

life and death, this two things is sound so strange to us. Ever really do a study about this and having a known meaning about this in your mind? If no mean you do not really know about religious.

Religious does not like by youngster, they might think all this is just the old legend that only believe by those elder, we now believe in scientific one. Often without the prove of science, now days people wont believe what elder people say anymore. But this is because you dun really understand about religious. There is another part i learn from my religious which is philosophy. (i duno about others religious about this or not but it have for Buddha and Christian) People can gain knowledge and the way how to face their life and way to solve their problem and even a proper way should do in a situation.

Life
We are born to this world at the same level. Is zero at the start and we are here to learn, to taste, to face, to get the experience. Being a human is like enjoying in a fun fair. Life does not have second take, dun ever let yourself to regret on doing anything, any decision.

But for some, life start due to the bad fate that they hang. They are born to taste the bitter and suffer as they do too many bad things in their previous life.

Chances are given equally to both this people. They are born to the same world, same Earth, live together. But we cant differentiate which and which is born here to enjoy or which is born here to suffer. Because life is actually fully control by ourself, what you want yourself to do then you will do it, what you want yourself to learn you will learn it, what you want yourself to taste you will taste it. Even you decide you are the one come to this world to enjoy or the one to come here and taste the suffer.

In a condition, if you are poor, there is two possible way you will think.
First, you might think why i'm so bad luck, why i'm not rich like others? Why i cant like others rich, can buy whatever they like, go wherever they want and do whatever they like? I must be the one that born here to taste the suffer of the world.
Second possible thinking way, you might think you are the lucky one, you are born here to enjoy the world. Compare to all other animals, i'm the most clever among them. Even when you face a trouble, you will take it as a challenge in your life, a way to make yourself grow up. Even you are poor, you will fill yourself with knowledge and earn your own money with all your intellegence in your own. This is only what we call life, a life that we want to enjoy. Growing up by taking all the bitter challenges is the only way we can enjoy our life. Dun ever let the graph of your life be a straight line.

So now you agree with me life is fully control by us? Control by our mind?

Next i will write the other part of Life and Death which is about death.
Sound interesting? Cont tommorrow lo... Bye...
Offline-ing....

Friend, did you?

2009-01-25T23:23:00.000+08:00

It is about one more hour to Chinese New Year but i'm still wanted to update my blog today because i miss my blog so much. Today i'm not going to write about how lonely and how sad i am because i realize there is more people i should appreciate around me.

I admit that i often like to advice people like what elders told me but i dun really most of what i'm telling. I'm trying but sometimes, even i know the exact solution to solve a problem but i din take that way to solve it.

Like how i advice people to appreciate people around but sometimes i din. Like how i ask people to perform fully in your daily life so that you will never regret your past but sometimes i din. Like how i advice people must serve people like how you would like people to serve you but sometimes i din. So i'm start doing all this now, apply everything that i teach people often to my real life all the time, inspire people not just in word but action.

As what i say, actually many people know many thing about life, many philosophy even just a simple one. But start on now day, hopefully you will like me, start applying all the good things that you know about in your real life too.

Wish everyone have a happy Chinese 牛 year!!
Write next post lu... Wanted to share something that i learn before.

The First Step

2009-01-23T10:59:00.010+08:00

Every matter is just about the first step.

When you dare to take the first step, thousand of people might follow you from behind.

When you dare to take the first step, you would not miss your golden chance.

When you dare to take the first step, you could be the success one.

When you dare to start the first step, many misunderstanding of human with one another can be settle peacefully.

When you dare to take the first step, you will get your brave and confidence at once and to do the second and the third until you success.

Actually brave is with us since we born to this world. People might say they do not have brave on doing something, do not have brave to take the first step, do the big thing. The brave is actually hidden, slept in your heart. It will only show itself when you believe the exist of it. So your must have confidence on it, you must believe the exist of infinity brave in you.

And confidence is just simple. When you read the paragraph above and believe on it, you already gain you confidence from it. (if only you believe it la...)

Sometimes the first step could be very important... It is like the story of two goats crossing a wooden bridge. Both goats wanted to cross the bridge but both of them also want to cross first and finally both fall to the river. If anyone of it take the first step, step of reverse, the tragedy will not happen.

Human should be humble. Humble to learn especially. Dun be shy or feel shame to learn from young one. They might know more then what you know on certain things, they might have a clearer vision on the world than you, they might have a different point of view and even a better solution to a problem than you.

Human improve by learning from one another but not fighting due to jealous on one another. And you must start the first step on doing this so that people will treat back the same to you as well. Dun expect people to change because of you while you are actually the one should change to fuse into them.The world is keep changing, dun blame the world change as it is actually you are weak in fitting on different environment. So as now the you realized it, if you want people to change, you are the one should start the first step now.

Hereby i end my post...

Human Is Like A Mirror?

2009-01-23T10:18:00.006+08:00

Start with this topic i would like to tell the intro first.
I realize this long long ago but someone recall it from me.

Human is just like a mirror, maybe you agree with me later.

I should started with an example.
When you first know a people, you wish them politely, and you do a low bow to him/her to show your respect. Guess what he will respond to you? Of course you will get the same from him/her.

When you never say bad word to you friend, will they do the same to you?

When you always respect your friend, you never tease him/her, will he/she do that in return to you?

When you always show your responsibility and maturity in everything, will your parents restrict you from hanging out with your friends?

When you are a boss and you always show love and care to your worker, i'm sure they will do their work with double effort even!

This is what i'm trying to tell to everyone. If you want a person or a situation change, you should change by yourself first. By changing yourself as saw by others, the situation will start to change too. It is just a simple and natural principle of life. Is just simple as one two three but i wonder why some people can understand this. What about you try on it? If you want a friend to respect you, you try to respect him first, then for sure he will do back the you! Hope you start doing this from today.

''Changing a person or a situation is about the changing of yourself,
dun ever wait people to take the first step first''

My post just simple and short and it end here...

Can People Survive With Little Money?

2009-01-22T09:23:00.015+08:00

I get interested on pointing out my point on this topic is actually inspired by Joel a.k.a Lamee.

This topic is a quite interesting one as now the economy is down- turning and many people started to think everything for money, think whatever tricks trying to earn more money.

At the very first of all, i would like to define the meaning of 'little money' that i am going to discuss here. The little money here i want to share about is actually where the money is still enough to sustain a medium family with a normal meal everyday. Just do not have extra money to buy any unnecessary thing other than those needed to survive.

Then my point of view start here....
Actually, human can survive with this little money even in now day. At least is enough for the monthly expenditure will do. I was born in the same too. Actually, i born in Keningau, Sabah. My dad work as a lorry driver. Last time our condition was much more better than now. He owned few lorry last time. Due to the economy down-turning also, our family also fall into a financial crisis. We moved back to my mum and dad's home town, Ipoh.

I'm not like others anymore, i am poor now, but no one know about it. Obviously, i really cannot live happily with this little of money. Sometimes i am really jealous on those who rich, at least their parents would not quarrel because of financial matter. I saw and heard so many times my parents was quarreling about this and even want to divorce at once but they did not. Without money, life go on really hard. I really hate those who are rich but do not appreciate it. And i hate people wasting their food as i know all these is bought from money. How precious is all this to me but not to those who were rich because they do not appreciate so.

Even until i was in secondary school, all my friends had their own nice handset but i do not have, all my friends had their own car or motor to drive to school while i am even dun have much money to take the motor license. When people asked me why i do not take the motor license so that i dun need to waste my time to take public bus to where that i want to go as my home had one motor, i really do not know how to answer them. Should i tell them i am poor until do not have that 'little money' to take the license?

But on the other hand, i was really glad and pleased that i am born from a poor family. (People might think i am insane when i write this) Do you want to know why i am telling such crazy line? First, if not i am poor, i wont get the motivation to learn to earn my own money to support the family. Second, if not i am poor, i wont get to taste these bitter and grow more stronger and able to face any big challenge in my life as i able to survive in such bad condition before. Third, if not i am poor, i wont get to grow that matured in everything. If not i am poor, my sight will not see clearer to this world and even blur by all the temptation of materialistic.

Because i am poor, i met SGM. Due to this, i get to know and realized that all this is actually my life, my bad fate. Where i can blame no one. In SGM i learned a lot, learned to chant and Gonkyo. Learned many spirit which is most needed in life, courage, brave, confidence, work together in a team, leadership... Courage and brave is most needed in our Gymnastics, confidence is needed too to all your partners in gymnastics. We also need to work together as a team, even anyone is absent from it then the whole formation will be an imperfect one. Leadership is what i needed and learning even until now as i needed to lead my gymnastics members to a glory victory. And i learned to many skill on problem solving. Learn to speak in public. Learn to perform in front of thousand people eyes. Learned to be more creative as i need to help in do planning for performance.

The conclusion here, i am glad that i am born in a poor family as i get realize the true meaning of life. Life is about facing all the challenge with all your brave, overcome it the wave of water that coming to you. If i am rich, i am will not get to taste such bitter and will not appreciate all the small sweet and happiness moment. Sometimes money is really needed in a emergency case, but without the money, you will learn to earn, you will learn to appreciate, you will get to see how cruel and ugly the world is. This is what money cannot buy. So here by, please remember.... Even you are poor just have a little money only, please bare in mind, you cannot poor in knowledge. Having little money or poor is nothing to do with the matter of life and death... (terms & conditions apply, read the definition that i write for 'little money')

''Poor in your pocket is nothing,
poor in your mind is nothing more to say.''

My friend

2009-01-17T02:00:00.001+08:00

Knowing my friends all growing up physically and also mentally, i felt so happy as i finally found them ''open up their eyes'' to the world in the year 2009. Started to know the true world like a newly born babe try to suit to this globe....

Jeffery, i'm proud of him. Since he is in 5sc1, where i am also in, he is the only mature one among all of us, all the monkey. Maybe because he often look so serious in the face, even when teaching us parade before the sport day come. And maybe also because he might something dun want to mix with us and sleep on a side. (wondering what he often do during the night, of course is Dota) So even he physically looked mature last time, yet i still cant sense any mentally grow on him and even all of them. Felt like i am the one that only know all the big things on the world, how human should behave like. So i never show the other part of me to all of my monkey classmate. Felt so hard to act in two characters as i need to act like a monkey in class while a serious one and well dicipline one in SGM espeically gymnasctics group as i am one of the PIC. Today morning i read his blog, only then i found he really grown up, started to miss his schoolmate and school life.

But after the SPM exam end, the year 2008 end, everyone like wake from their sweet dream which fuse with all the childish and happiness with all the schoolmate, started to leave each other, the relationship not as close as the past. The scene is just like a nest of birds which all grown up and fly to different direction. Even i myself also quite miss my school day. Even i dun really like to go school last time but now i really do miss my school. At this moment i finally can understand why elder people will say like what i told. People may say why must this happen? Why must we leave each other? Why cant we stay together forever? But think it deeply, if we dont leave each other, if this dont happen, we will never grow up mentally, will never learn to appreciate and notice every good things happening around us and forget all the moment of happiness easily. The moment we stay together is actually a stepping stone for us to grow up stronger. So, all my friend, even we all are now away from each other, even we all had our own business to do, hope all of you will put me in my heart, remember even just my name is enough. Dandy.......

THE 1ST DAY TO BE A BLOGGER...

2009-01-14T17:11:00.002+08:00

New to a blog, of course i wanted to intro myself first.

My name is DANDY LAU JING HUi

I'm just a normal one like all of you perhaps. What I was different from you might just the appearance, gone through the same process of teenager's life, rebel, revenge, against... Many kind of silly thing I did as well which same like you when I was a teenager.

What could be different from you and me is also the religious, the part of religious knowledge which some of you do know that I am a superb active member in Soka Gakkai Malaysia (SGM), an NGO as well as religious society. Most of the time I earn my knowlegde all from there. It could said to be the second school and home to me as well. This practice is still been continue by me until now.

Occupation of me, is just a student for now and the few coming years as well.

Maybe I could have share out something which I had learned before to all of you guys and it became the historical part of what I had knew before. As it is written in this blog, it became the references for me in future in case that I forgot any of it.